All or Nothing
by xBrokenStars
Summary: "It's all or nothing, you and I" Mello isn't the sentimental type. He admits something to Matt and wonders what his reaction will be. MattxMello
1. Chapter 1

_Suggested listening: All or Nothing- Theory of a Deadman_

**Matt**

I opened my eyes, but could barely see anything in the darkness; trying to identify my surroundings. Feeling warmth and hearing a soft breathing next to me, it all came back. To hide out when you were rich usually meant acting like you were poor. In our case, we rented a room at a rundown motel in the most ghetto area in the city. Being the leader of the mafia, Mello was always in danger; with multiple people trying to kill him. I was used to this.

Glancing over at my best friend, I felt a wave of happiness wash over me. Anywhere he was, I was. For a few long, lonely years we had been apart. He left the orphanage where we had met and grown up together to run away and join the mafia. We never really talked about it, but knew it was horrible for both of us when he left. I ended up depressed and wandered the street, searching for him- until one day I was offered a job in the mafia. When I showed up, he recognized me instantly. There was no formality or awkwardness between us, even though we hadn't seen each other in forever. I smiled for probably the first time in a year and told him, "I found you." That might have been the happiest moment of my life.

******Mello**

"Good morning, sunshine!"

"Shut the h- oh, it's you." I smiled as I realized who it was. Even if I was in a crappy place and having a bad day, I didn't care. As long as he was with me, I was fine. Matt, my beautiful angel.

I rolled out of bed- yes, literally rolled into the floor- and stood up, then realizing the curtains were wide open. "Seriously? You know perverts can see in our room if we keep the curtains open!"

"Oh yeah? Who's watching us, Mello?" He sarcastically replied.

My face suddenly contorted to what must have been an expression of horror. "Him." I crouched down under the window and pointed out towards the trees in our view to the left. A man, maybe in his late 40s, was standing there with a pair of binoculars in his hands, staring straight at our window. Well that was awkward.

"Oh. Okay, well close the curtains." Matt told me. No duh. I yanked them closed, so no one else could stalk me.

After tugging on a pair of leather skinny jeans, and a black tank top, I paused to think about something. Something that had been on my mind a lot recently.

"Matt, I need to tell you something."

"Um... yeah, you can tell me." He must be wondering why I was being so sincere. Normally I would go on with a dirty joke or something like that. This time I paused. The air was filled with the heaviness my heart had always had; keeping this from him. I took a deep breath in, and exhaled slowly, thinking it might calm my nerves.

"All or nothing." This was the hardest thing I had ever had to do in even my messed up life. I'm not really the 'I love you' type. So why not say it with a song? "Babe, it's you and I."

Why did I say that? That was the weirdest thing I could have ever said. He's going to hate me, to reject me, and now my life with a chance of some happiness is over. Because even if he didn't know how I felt, I could live with being best friends. Now this is the moment that could make or break our entire relationship.

Without those orange goggles, I could see the emotions in his gorgeous jade eyes. All those colors, each individual shade of green stood out to me. Amazement, shock, confusion... was love hidden somewhere in there?

"Are you serious?" I thought I sensed a mocking tone in his voice.

Oh no. Well I had to continue now, or I might never know.

"Yes, I love you, and I don't mean that in a straight way." Honesty was best, right?

******Matt**

What the heck was that? I left the room, not caring if I was only wearing my pajamas.

Holy Mario. Did Mello just confess his... love for me? This can't happen, it's just not right!

An lady glanced back at me curiously. as I slumped to the floor outside our room. Right now, I couldn't care less what anyone else thought, I was so caught up in thinking.

Thoughts, questions, memories whirled through my mind. What could have caused him to say that? Of course Mello liked to joke around a lot, but this was... honest. I could tell it was hard for him to say. He was scared of telling me. Mello, scared? What if he though I wouldn't accept him when he told the truth? Picking myself up and still very unsure of the situation, I lingered in the hallway. I couldn't just leave him there wondering if I hated him. But what exactly did I feel? After a moment I realized what I had known all along. When he said that- a statement that bold had to be true, and my heart reacted to it. I've rejected the idea for years, but now I know what my heart says.

Walking back into our room, the sight nearly broke my heart. Mello was actually crying.

Usually so full of pride and confident, he was now broken and regretful. The first time I've ever seen him cry. We needed each other. First I had to make it clear that I accepted what we both knew. I sat down on the couch and held him tight to let him know he was loved.


	2. Chapter 2

******Mello**

I broke down and cried when he left. Just walked out of the room like he was never coming back. I shouldn't have done it, I should have let him believe we were best friends- and only friends. At least then I could still be with him often. It would be better to have him as my friend than to have him hate me. He is the only thing I have ever lived for, the only one I have ever truly loved. I can't lose him. And yet I had fractured the bond between us with this truth of emotions I have felt for so long. Of course, another thing I wasn't good enough at had to be love. Maybe I was good for nothing.

But I don't want Matt. I need him. He's like my other half. When I was without him, I was depressed and cruel. He makes me a better person.

The moment the door opened, and he appeared in the doorway, I was shocked. Didn't he walk out, implying that he was never coming back? Forget logic, he actually cares about me? No, of course not. He is only going to tell me that I'm worthless, controlling, and manipulating. Like everyone else.

What made the least sense to me is when he saw me in despair and... hugged me? Why? I asked myself. But there was Matt, sitting beside me on the couch with his arms around me.

Opening his mouth to speak, I could tell he was searching for the perfect words to say. "Mello, I... I love you so much. I would never leave you."

Never before had he said that, not even to one of his previous girlfriends. Those words weren't meant to be taken lightly, and he knew it. And I was so glad.

******Matt  
**

Are people supposed to look like angels when they cry? I swear Mello looked so cute and innocent as I sat there, watching the tears pouring down his beautiful face. My next move, after the hug, was to tell him "I love you." Those words were something I couldn't remember ever saying to anyone. I wasn't one to get attached to people.

I had dated several girls when I left Wammy's House, but I never seemed to find the perfect one. They were nice, but I never found that "I love you so much I would die for you" factor. I never even considered liking guys. Wouldn't that just make people hate me and discriminate me? Well, they just ignored me anyway. I wasn't very social, and was fairly easy to just ignore. A red haired socially awkward bisexual nerd. That's me.

With Mello, our relationship had always been different than anyone else I've ever known. I didn't realize until now, that all those years, it was what true love felt like.

We talked far into the night, laughed, and cried together about everything possible. Memories came back from our lives when we were younger. He reminded me of all the stupid things we had done together as teenagers.

Mello said he first discovered he loved me at the age of 14, and I was clueless to his deep affection for me. At least I knew now.

So many emotions were released from our hearts in such a small time. Two halves make a whole, and he was my other half. I was now complete with Mello. Together at last.


End file.
